


The Avengers Do Not Need A Babysitter

by raindrops_tumble



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint and Nat are brats, Clint you baby, Gen, Pepper and Coulson have weekly lunch dates, SHIELD, Stark Industries, i swear it's not all just shield, offensive cupcakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:42:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindrops_tumble/pseuds/raindrops_tumble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six strong personalities in one household is bound to cause problems. What the Avengers need is someone to diffuse the situation, someone to make sure they behave themselves, eat properly and don't brawl in the lab. What they don't need is a babysitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Recruit

**Author's Note:**

> Completely unbetaed. Everything belongs to Marvel except for Charlie Potts and the plot, they're all mine.
> 
> This is my first proper fic so go easy on me. Additional tags, characters and relationships will be added as needed. I'm just very indecisive.
> 
> Constructive crit is appreciated :)

Phil Coulson glanced at the digital clock as he road the elevator up to the executive offices of Stark Industries New York; he was right on time. He checked to make sure his security pass was positioned on his suit jacket and clearly visible so that there was no chance of offending Happy. While he wasn’t exactly SHIELD material Phil liked and respected Happy, who seemed to be doing a decent job of taking care of Ms Potts.

The elevator dinged softly and opened up on to clean, brightly lit offices and Phil made his way to the reception desk with no difficulty, having beaten this track many times before. Today was slightly different though. The kindly old receptionist, Mrs Woods, who always inquired after his health, was nowhere to be found. Instead he noted that the desk chair was empty and someone with curly red hair was sitting crossed legged on the floor, focussed entirely on the files she was pulling from the bottom reaches of a filing cabinet. 

He cleared his throat to get her attention. No response. “Excuse me?” he called out. No response. He walked around the side of the desk and leant down to tap her on the shoulder.  
“Woah!” she exclaimed, visibly starting and ripping a set of ear buds from her ears. “Sorry! I was in Led-Zeppelin-land just then, I didn’t even realise you were there,” she rambled.

Phil smiled faintly as she hauled herself from the floor. She was a small girl, probably in her early 20’s. Her high-heeled boots brought the top of her head only level with his eyes. She wore a black pencil skirt and emerald green blouse that made her red hair blaze. She had a dusting of freckles which Phil thought she had tried and failed to powder over but her dark eyes stood out in her fair-skinned face. “Where’s Mrs Woods gone?” he asked conversationally.

“Oh, her eldest grandson is getting married in San Francisco next weekend so she’s taken a little holiday. I’m just temping until she gets back. Were you here to see Pep?” she asked and Phil raised an eyebrow at the informal use of the nickname.

“Yes, I’ve got a 12:45 with Ms Potts, could you let her know I’m—“

“Phil! You’re here already. I don’t know why I’m surprised; you’re always on time. Just too many years of dealing with Tony I think.” Pepper was beautifully put together as always in a deep midnight blue suit jacket and skirt with an asymmetric hem that just screamed designer. She smiled warmly as she clasped his hand and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, making sure not to leave any traces of her lipstick.

“Lovely to see you as always, Pepper.” He replied. “Where would you like to eat today? There’s a little spaghetti bar a block over that’s been getting good reviews, but I’m open to suggestions if you have them.”

“No, that sounds perfect” she told him. Turning to the new temp she instructed “Hold all my calls unless there’s and emergency. If Tony calls and says it’s an emergency ignore him unless you get confirmation from Steve or Natasha that it really is and my presence is required. Do you think you’ll have what you’re working on done by the end of the day? Because I’ve got a couple of important things that I’m going to need you to get started on tomorrow.”

“Oh please, Pep. I’ll have this lot sorted before you come back from lunch,” She grinned, slinking back to the floor to continue her work.

“Charlie, you are a god-send. I think organisation may be your super power. We should get Professor Xavier to check you for the mutant X gene next time he’s in town.” Pepper joked, leaning over to place a kiss on the top of the other girl’s head. “I’ll be back in a hour or so.”

Phil watched the exchange with thinly veiled curiosity and decided to find out more from Pepper over lunch. Taking the arm she offered he began to lead her back to the elevator, turning to look back he called “It was nice to meet you Miss…”

“Potts” she supplied and gave a half smile. “Call me Charlie though, otherwise it gets terrible confusing round here. It was a pleasure to meet you too, Agent Coulson.” She turned back to her work fast enough that she missed his look of surprise at her knowing exactly who he was.

Pepper noticed though and gave a soft laugh. “She’s taking care of my schedule too. She’s got the whole thing memorised for the next two weeks.”

Phil’s eyes lit up. What he wouldn’t give to have someone like that at SHIELD to take care of the paperwork while he tried to control his more recalcitrant field agents. 

~~~

The spaghetti bar was warm and cosy, and Pepper and Phil were led to a table near the back, far enough away from other customers that they could speak freely.

“So how have things been since the whole Loki thing? I don’t think we’ve had a chance to keep our regular appointment since all that mess began,” Pepper asked, genuine interest plain on her face

“Stressful, busy but we’re getting there,” Phil replied. “As I’m sure you know the team is finally settled into the tower which at least gets them out of my hair down at SHIELD. I swear, it was bad enough having Romanoff and Barton living on base scaring the shit out of the interns. Add Rogers and Thor to the mix and some of the junior agents started thinking they’d fallen down the rabbit hole.”

Pepper snorted her laughter and twirled spaghetti carbonara around her fork. “Those two seem like nice enough men, what’s the big problem?”

Phil smiled fondly. “They’re both great actually. But everyone copes differently with Norse Gods toasting pop tarts in the kitchen and Super Soldiers from the 1940’s working out in the gym.”

“I suppose that’s true. I hope they all manage to cope with living together. It’s going to be a real mix of personalities. I worry about Tony but I think it’s good for him to have the company.” She smiled ruefully. “I tried to make him come and work in the SI R&D with all the other engineers, you know, just so someone could be keeping an eye on him. But he claims he can’t work without Jarvis and DUM-E and they can’t work with the other engineers. Jarvis could of course, but he’s right about the DUM-E.”

“Dr Banner doesn’t seem to mind them. But then I suppose he’s a unique sort of man. His ability to put up with Stark is nearly as great as yours after all.” He reflected that while he didn’t know how Bruce or Pepper could stand to be around the genius for extended periods of time, most of the staff at SHIELD wondered the same thing about how he put up with Clint. He supposed it was a labour of love.

“Well that and I gave him a batch of my herbal tea when he moved in. It’s specially formulated for coping with him. If that doesn’t work we’ve both got access to Tony’s collection of scotch.” 

“Oh really? I’d love to try your tea. It might come in handy, though I’m hoping the next mission isn’t quite as intense as the last.”

“I’ll make sure to get you a box for next week,” she replied and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“...So, tell me about Charlie Potts,” Phil began, acting casual.

“She’s my niece. I was only 10 when she was born though and we’re close so she’s like a little sister to me. I hadn’t seen her for a while though and, well, let’s just say she has her reasons for not wanting to stay in the place where she was. So I thought I’d lend and hand and have her stay with me. New York’s a great place for a fresh start.” Pepper smiled fondly and there was pride clear in her voice but something in her eyes look sad, haunted maybe and Phil chose not to press her for details.

“Is she as good at her job as you made her out to be before?” he asked instead.

“Better. I almost want to take her on permanently except I couldn’t bear to let Mrs Woods go after all these years.”

“Do you think she’d be interested in working at SHIELD?” Phil asked in his most innocent voice. “I’m sure I could find a cosy little position for her, nothing that’d have you worried.”

She wasn’t fooled. Apparently she was well and truly practised at seeing through those kinds of stunts. Phil wondered if even Nick Fury could get away with lying to Ms Potts.

“Phil…” she drew his name out in a warning tone. “While I’m sure Charlie would jump at the idea of her working for a super secret intelligence agency, I do not. Must you employ everyone that I know?!”

“I don’t employ everyone you know! Col. Rhodes is still technically military, he’s only hanging around because he wants to bug Stark for new upgrades to the War Machine armour. And its not like Charlie would be anywhere near the field work, I just need someone to fill out paperwork and file it,” he explained, trying to be reasonable.

Peppers eyes narrowed as she glared at him, weighing what he said. “No.”

Phil opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off before he could utter a sound.

“Your offices are in the habit of being blown up, a far larger percentage of your field agents than I’m comfortable with would not pass a proper psych eval and Charlie is better than just filing away SHIELD’s leave applications.” She counted each point off on French manicured nails.

He sighed and held out his hands in a gesture of defeat. “Ok, ok. You win. Keep her all to yourself if you must.”

Pepper smirked back at him.

~~~

“No. Absolutely not!” Pepper looked horrified, hands on hips and high-heeled feet braced as if she were about to take a warrior pose as she glared down as her niece who was slouching on the sofa. Charlie wondered what all the fuss was about. It was just a job, and a good job at that. SHIELD paid better than most places, it was close to both SI offices and Pepper’s apartment that she was currently staying in and it was full time work.

“Come on Pep, it’s not like I’m ditching you. Mrs Woods will be back in a week and I won’t start until after that. What’s the big deal? I thought you liked Coulson.”

“I did until recently,” she muttered petulantly to herself. “It’s not safe, Charlie! Do you understand what SHIELD do?!” The outburst was sudden and both woman appeared to be equally shocked by it.

“I did get the basic rundown of the organisation, but I’m just there to look after paperwork. Just like I’ve been doing here,” she replied in her most coaxing and persuasive tone. “Besides, it’s New York, it’s known for having a certain level of danger. There was an alien invasion just a few months ago if you recall. If anything I’ll be safer at SHIELD, hanging out with all the people who are trained to deal with that crap!” Charlie grinned at her aunt trying to look optimistic.

Pepper eyed her silently for a few moments before releasing a breath that she had apparently been holding. Her shoulders fell and her body sank a little but the tension also left her posture and expression. When she spoke her tone was resigned but the corner of her mouth kicked up in a small smile. “You’re right. And it’s your decision to make anyway, I just worry, that’s all.”

She sank down onto the couch next to Charlie and wrapped her up in a hug. “Congratulations, my darling,” she murmured softly into the younger girl’s ear and Charlie hid her proud smile in Pepper’s shoulder.

“Thank you. And thank you for understanding,” she said as they let go of each other. “I think this calls for a celebration. Let’s pop a bottle of champagne!”

Pepper grinned. “Champagne sounds like an excellent idea, but I just have a few emails that I need to shoot off. Why don’t you pour us both a glass while you’re waiting and then I’ll take you out to dinner?”

Charlie jumped up to comply, planting a swift kiss on her cheek before bouncing through the door to the kitchen.

Pepper drew her laptop from its case and began typing, her nails making sharp, angry clacks on the keyboard

From: v.potts@starkindustries.com  
To: p.coulson@shield.org  
Subject: Charlotte Potts

Your sir, are in very very big trouble.

Regards,  
Virginia “Pepper” Potts


	2. Cupcakes and Clint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All unbeted still.
> 
> Comments make me smile. Constructive crit is always appreciated.

Working for Coulson was great. They shared a sense of organisation and efficiency which most people lacked and they appreciated each other all the more for it. Coulson also had a penchant for the offensive cupcakes sold by the little bakery a few blocks over and had a batch delivered daily. Today the one he gave her said “BITE ME” in blue icing.

Charlie wandered to the staff kitchen to grab a coffee and distribute some of the other cupcakes to the agents taking their break there. As she waited for her latte two people dressed in the black uniform of the field agents came up behind her and she looked up. “Hi,” she greeted them brightly.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” the man sneered. He was quite a bit taller than her and well muscled, particularly in the arms. He had blue-grey eyes set in a hard looking face. Charlie supposed he would have been handsome in a rugged sort of way if he weren’t pulling that face.

“Fresh meat” the woman barely whispered, her tone icy. Though she was smaller and less obviously strong than her companion she was infinity more terrifying. Her eyes were large and green and her mouth was soft; she was stunningly beautiful but it a way that held a degree of malice.

Charlie felt the first strands of panic beginning to rise in her. She ran though all the conversations she’d had with Coulson. Surely he would have warned her about any agents that might pick on her…the answer hit her suddenly and she struggled not to smirk at them

“Cupcake?” she offered them the box with a polite smile and the man faltered, his expression turning surprised for all of half a second before settling back into his sneer. “Agents Barton and Romanoff I suppose? Coulson’s mentioned you.”

At that the menace fled out of both of them and was replaced with warmth and friendliness.

“Dammit Phil!!” Agent Barton crowed at the ceiling. He turned to look at the woman beside him and put on a clearly fake petulant pout. “He always ruins our fun.” He looked back to Charlie, “I’m Clint, this is Natasha,” he said jerking a thumb in her direction before offering his hand to shake.

“Charlie,” she put a cupcake in his hand instead of shaking it. “So what was that meant to be? Hazing ritual?”

Natasha smiled at her, “Something like that. I like to think of it as a cost cutting measure. When it comes to junior agents, its better to find out sooner rather than later who’s going to cut it.” She turned to Clint, “I don’t know why we bother anymore. Coulson’s probably put warnings about us in the orientation booklet.”

“No, he’s keeping the warnings verbal for now. He says if he put’s it in writing then he’d have to officially recognise that there’s an issue and that means you’d both be required to go for a psych eval,” Charlie explained.

Natasha considered that for a moment. “True, we can’t really afford the time off work if we got benched. And SHIELD can’t afford to hire new psych staff. They inevitably lose a few whenever we’re sent to the shrinks.”

“Hey! I’d totally pass the test!!” Clint exclaimed indignantly.

Natasha turned her head slowly to stare at him and raised an eyebrow. She held the expression for several moments as if waiting for Clint to falter. “Bitch please,” she said finally.

Charlie observed the exchange silently and decided it would work out best for everyone to break the tension.

“I’m not a junior agent by the way. I’m just an admin assistant.”

Two sets of eyes slammed back to her and she felt better seeing the brewing argument abandoned.

Clint was the first to speak. “What are you doing down here then? I thought the desk jockeys’ offices were upstairs. It’s only agents down on these levels.”

“Oh you’re right, they are, but I’m Agent Coulson’s new assistant. He reckons he needs more time to work with some disobedient agents he’s supposed to be handling. So I’m just here to look after the paperwork while he does that,” she explained.

Their faces immediately fell and they turned to each other with identical shocked and worried looks.

“Shit! He’s onto us.” Natasha said in a hushed voice.

“Well Charlie, it was great to meet you but we’ve gotta go,” Clint said with a fake smile that hid none of his panic. They were both already backing towards the door.

“Nice to meet you too!” she waved at them as they slipped out. 

She turned back to her coffee, which was done now and had probably been sitting for a couple of minutes. She taste tested it; still hot. Someone tapped her shoulder and she glanced behind. Clint reached around her and snagged another cupcake. This one said ‘GET BACK TO WORK’.

“One for the road,” he justified before going back the way he’d come.

Charlie decided that despite Coulson’s complaints the two agents were pretty cool.

~~~

Charlie was sitting at her desk in Coulson’s office, filing his mission reports and reflecting that she was settling into her new job pretty well in the three weeks she’d been there when something hit her in the back of the head and bounced off. Startled, she let out a yelp and pulled her ear buds out, turning around to find her attacker. There was no one. Coulson was out and the door was closed. She spotted a large bulldog clip on the floor and figured that must’ve been what hit her.

“Psst! Charlie!”

The voice came from up high. She looked up and realised that the grate on the air con vent was gone. Clint’s head popped down, a goofy grin on his face.

“Gotcha!”

Charlie let out the breath she had been holding in relief before placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him. “Jeez! What on earth are you doing in there? And don’t you know better than to sneak up on a girl when she’s immersed in the music of the gods?”

“Huh? I left Thor back at the tower this morning, what are you listening to?” 

“Thor’s only a demi-god, and I was listening to the Stones. Now tell me what you’re doing up there,” she demanded.

“I was just on my way to do a little inter-office espionage, but I was passing your vent and I saw the cupcakes on Coulson’s desk. Could you hand me one?” He was still wearing that boyish smile and it softened his face. Charlie wondered how she had every thought his face was hard and grim. 

She moved to the other desk and selected a chocolate cupcake with ‘GTFO’ written on in. She held it just out of his reach. “Next time you need to get my attention, you don’t throw things at me, ok?” she bargained.

“To be fair, I did call out to you but you couldn’t hear me over your music. I had to throw stationary! It’s not like I hurt you,” he explained.

“Ok but next time just call my phone or something. Gimme your phone and I’ll give you the number.”

Clint reached back into the vent to retrieve his phone and handed it down to her. She took it and gave him the cupcake in return.

“SCORE! Cupcakes and the new girl’s phone number. I win at life!” he joked as she typed in her mobile number and set herself up as a new contact. Charlie just rolled her eyes at him and returned the phone.

“Now scoot. Coulson’s due back any minute and I have a feeling you’re not supposed to be up there.”

“There’s no official rule against it. Thanks for the snack, Charlie!” and with that he disappeared back into the ceiling and the grate was positioned back where it belonged.

Charlie moved back to her desk to finish her filing.

~~~

Coulson returned less than a minute later and had barely sat down when Nick Fury barged in.

“Coulson. Meeting. My office. Now. Where’s Barton? I need him too.”

He sighed and rubbed his face looking world-weary. “He’s got the range booked all afternoon. Did you check there?”

Fury tilted his head in a gesture that seemed to say ‘well duh’. “I did. And he wasn’t there. He’s your responsibility Phil. If he’s back to picking on the interns it’s on you.” He pointed a blunt finger at the smaller man.

“He won’t stop, sir.” He replied, tiredly. “I’ve found it’s easier to just warn everyone about him at orientation. I walked past the kitchen just before and he wasn’t terrorising them in there.” The agent was clearly trying to hold onto his last shred of patience. Fury didn’t seem to notice or perhaps he was just having the same difficulty.

“I swear, the next time he get’s knocked out in the field I’m putting a mother-fucking tracker in that boy’s ass.” His voice began to rise in volume.

Charlie watched the two men silently from her corner of the room. Poor Coulson had been having a bad day anyway, and having his boss bitching him out about Clint was probably not going to improve things one iota. She debated telling them where he was, wondering if she would get Clint in trouble or if he’d be angry with her, tossing up whether taking that chance would be worse than watching Coulson stress about his misbehaved marksman as Fury yelled at him.

She cleared to throat and three eyes turned in her direction. “Umm…sorry to interrupt director, but he’s…well he’s in the vent.” she said quietly, ducking her head nervously. She had never spoken to Director Fury before.

Instead of looking at her like she was mad though Fury rolled his one eye and Coulson heaved a sigh. In a perfectly synchronised move the two men’s glares moved slowly and silently from her face to the air vent.

“Barton. Down. Now.” Fury barked suddenly at the ceiling. Silence. For a second Charlie worried that she’d made a fool of herself. But no, he was there a minute ago. Even if he’d moved on he should still be able to hear them.

“Clint?” She called. She made her voice quiet but firm trying for the tone Pepper used in meetings when she was trying to get something she wanted. “Time to come down now.”

The grate was removed and taken back into the vent by one scarred hand. Next Clint’s combat boots appeared and he lowered himself into the room, biceps bulging before he let go and dropped to the floor in front of Coulson’s desk. He turned to look at Charlie.

“Ouch. As if you dob me in. That cuts me deep. I thought we were bros,” he told her clutching his chest as if he were really in pain. Clearly the agent didn’t think he was in too much trouble and Charlie allowed herself to relax.

She shrugged back at him. “Sorry Clint, Coulson was my bro first, also my boss. I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.”

“Yeah? You better make it good, coz this was a major betrayal,” he said childishly, crossing his arms and turning his face away from her in a perfect impression of a five year old. She had a feeling he put it on for the sake of annoying his superiors.

“I’ll buy you a drink after work, but only if you go to your meeting and behave yourself,” she patronised, playing along with his act.

He dropped it immediately, turning back to her with a grin. “Done deal.” He held out his hand and they shook on it.

Fury watched it all play out before him and raised an eyebrow at the two of them. “If you’re quite done then Agent Barton. Meeting. Now.” He jerked his head towards the corridor to get the other man moving and Clint slunk out and wandered off in the direction of Fury’s office. Fury glanced after him, clearly shocked at the lack of complaint about having to sit through yet another meeting.

“Thank you for your assistance…Charlie was it?” She nodded at him and smiled.

“No problem, Director. Glad to help.”

“Phil? You coming?” he asked as he left the room.

“Right away, sir” Coulson called out as he collected his paperwork and headed for the door. He paused in the doorway to look back at Charlie. “Nice work,” he told her before kicking the door shut behind him.

In the corridor Fury was waiting for him. “Who is that?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest.

Phil gave the faintest hint of a smirk. “My new assistant, Charlotte “Charlie” Potts.”

Recognition dawned on the other man’s face. “Ahhh. How interesting. And it seems she’s inherited the family talent for controlling wayward children.”

“It would appear so. I wonder if she can get him to go to meetings all the time or if this was just a once off,” Phil mused, impressed with his new employee. Pepper had said she was good for more than just filing and schedules. 

The two men entered the office to find Clint sitting sideways in one of the guest chairs, his legs hanging over one of the arm rests. If anyone else had ratted on him and then patronised him like that he would have been spitting chips. But for Charlie he was waiting in Fury’s office. He hadn’t even shot anything in there.

Phil thought that if she survived the after-work drink with Clint and managed to maintain the authority she’d shown back there, his life might be about to get a whole lot easier.


	3. Friends and Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still unbetaed. And I still appreciate constructive crit :)

Nick Fury stalked down the hallway seething. Unfortunately he still hadn’t managed to get a tracker on his best marksman. And said marksman was still not turning up for scheduled meetings. It was ridiculous. It was like looking after children. If something didn’t change soon he was considering setting up detention for all agents who failed to meet their appointments.  
He stopped at Coulson office and looked in. He occasionally found Barton snoozing on the couch in there. No such luck this time. Only Charlie Potts was present, standing at the desk sorting through and old archive box. She looked up and smiled at him as he stuck his head in.

“Hello, Director. Can I help you with anything?” she said brightly.

He waved her off. “Not necessary, Miss Potts. Unless you’ve seen Barton lurking around,” he said without hope, turning to leave again.

“I haven’t seen him since this morning, but I can give him a call if you like?” Nick was a few feet from the door by the time she finished her sentence, but he paused and looked back. Of course both Coulson and himself had call Barton several times, but there was no harm in trying again.

“If you think he’ll pick up,” he told her doubtfully.

Charlie pulled a phone with a red and white polka-dotted case out of her back pocket and searched through the contacts. She wondered briefly why Director Fury was so agitated and why he didn’t think Clint would answer. He’d never ignored her calls before.

She selected Clint’s number and waited. He picked up on the third ring. “What can I do for you, Charlie?” His tone was light and friendly and something about it told her he was up to mischief.

“What are you up?” she asked suspiciously.

“Oh, you know, the usual. Fighting crime, shooting stuff, being devilishly handsome.” Charlie giggle-snorted and him, one eyebrow raised sardonically.

“Okay, okay, you got me. I’m intercepting Coulson’s cupcake delivery,” he admitted.

Charlie rolled her eyes. Secure in the knowledge that he couldn’t see her. Nick Fury still stood at the door, expressionless and impassive. “Well do you think you could bring them to me? I’ve got someone here who wants to see you.”

“Wait, what?! Who are you calling for?? Coulson or Fury?” he demanded, outraged.

Charlie suppressed a small smirk; she was amused by his antics. “Director Fury. Clint, did you skip another meeting?” she asked softly, trying to keep most of the accusation out of her voice. 

“Yes, but it was a pointless one! There was no reason for me to be there,” his tone was verging on petulant but petulance was something Charlie had dealt with before. It didn’t present a particularly difficult challenge.

Charlie called up Phil’s schedule in her mind’s eye. Chances were Clint was meant to be in the same meeting Coulson had left for 20minutes ago. “You mean the safety thing? I heard Captain Rogers designed a whole new strategy to keep you and Natasha more protected and that Mr Stark has some new tech to present. Sounded pretty important to me.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the phone before Clint huffed out a breath. “Yeah but they can just show me at home. Why couldn’t I have had that discussion from my favourite arm chair?”

“I think it’s probably got something to do with maintaining a life-work balance, my friend. Right now you’re at work so you really need to be working. But at home you don’t need to be worrying about that stuff. I mean really, tonight when you get home would you rather be discussing tactics with your colleagues or sitting around watching re-runs of Friends with your house-mates? Also apparently everyone else is here and you’re holding up the show. At lest be a little considerate.” Charlie took a deep breath, somewhat surprised at the lecture she was apparently working up to.

There was only silence on the other end and she had to take the phone away from her ear to check that he hadn’t hung up on her halfway through. “Clint?”

“Yeah, yeah, alright. If you want to put it that way. I’m not bringing you cupcakes though. You can forget that. Tell Fury I’ll meet him back in the conference room,” he said with grudging obedience.

Charlie smiled to herself, pleased that he had listened to her. “Thank you, Clint,” she said earnestly. “Anything that keeps you and Natasha and everyone else safer in the field is a good thing in my books.”

Clint didn’t seem to know how to respond to that and Charlie could imagine him floundering on the other end. “Yeah. Well…”

“Now skedaddle!” she ordered, taking pity on his awkwardness and hanging up the phone.

She turned back to look at Fury. “He’s on his way to the conference room, sir. He should actually make it there this time,” she told him with a polite smile.

Fury continued to stare at her for a few moments, seeming to evaluate the conversation and resolve it with his previous knowledge of her. He narrowed his eye at her slightly then gave a quick nod. “Thank you for your assistance Miss Potts.”

He turned and left the room again, wondering if Barton would actually show or if the young girl was just overly optimistic. Two levels down and three corridors over he re-entered the conference room. The Avengers were all as he’d left them: Stark and Banner bickered over science across the table, Bruce occasionally pausing to explain a concept in layman’s terms to Rogers; Natasha had her body angled to the side so she could face Thor better as she gave him a run down of the Russian Revolution; Rogers tried politely to listen to both conversations at once as he scribbled something on his notepaper. In the corner however, hunched over a box of brightly coloured cupcakes was Barton, clearly not pleased to be there, but present none the less. Fury raised his eyebrows and gave the agent a surprised look.

Clint looked up to and rolled his eyes in return. “Shut up” he quipped before Nick even opened his mouth. “Let’s get this over with already.”

~~~

Coulson and Pepper had both received the emergency call from JARVIS approximately 13 minutes ago and Phil had been able to pick her up from the office so that they could drive to Avengers Tower together. They walked briskly across the lobby and into the waiting elevator, the only sound was that of Pepper’s Louboutins as they clacked on the foyer floor. The elevator sealed shut behind them and the pleasant English accent greeted them “Good evening Miss Potts, Agent Coulson.”

“Updates, JARVIS?” Pepper asked tersely. 

“The team remains uninjured so far. However a wall in the lounge has been mostly destroyed courtesy of mjolnir, Dr Banner’s heart rate is still worryingly elevated though he has removed himself from company and it seems to be dropping towards normal parameters. I have locked sir out of his suits for fear that he may use them against Captain Rogers and I have lost track of the location of Agent Romanoff.” JARVIS’s voice betrayed only the slightest hint of worry, but coming from an AI that was cause for concern.

“Where’s Barton?” Phil asked, worried.

“In the gym, away from the worst of the fighting. He seemed mostly just irritated that he couldn’t hear the television over the shouting and was otherwise not involved in any altercation.”

“Wonders will never cease,” Phil muttered feeling relieved.

The elevator dinged and Pepper and Coulson strode out. Tony and Steve were shouting at each other over the kitchen counter. Tony’s hands were braced on the marble bench top as he leaned over it sneering, while Steve had his arms crossed over his chest defensively, pulled up to his full height and glaring at the genius. Pepper didn’t even stop to hear what they were yelling about. Instead she slammed her clipboard down on the table, making a loud “THWACK!” sound.

“That’s ENOUGH!” she shouted at them. Her cheeks were red and she stared them both down, her temper showing clearly in her face. The two men fell silent immediately.

“Now I don’t know what your issue is and frankly, I don’t care but you both need to stop this now,” she continued. Steve let his arms drop and his whole body seemed to sag. Tony on the other hand pointed a finger at her.

“Pepper, I—“

“Not another word, Tony. This crap you two are pulling affects the whole household, not just you. Bruce is downstairs monitoring his heart rate and trying to calm down because he was that close to losing control again. Thor apparently exited the room via the wall so you must’ve done something to piss him off too. Clint’s sulking in the gym and we’ve got no idea where Natasha disappeared to. Now drop it and grow up!” 

Tony deflated in much the same way Steve had and Coulson had to stand back and marvel at Pepper’s ability to take Stark down a notch. The two of them stood there looking for all the world like elementary school children who had just been scolded by their teacher. Pepper huffed out a sigh and continued in a more indoors appropriate voice. 

“Now, Phil, can you go check on Clint? Tony, go apologise to Thor as I’m sure it was you’re fault he’s mad. Steve, go look for Nat. If you can’t find her get Clint or JARVIS to help. I’ll go make sure Bruce is ok.” Instructions given the three men all left the kitchen silently; no one dared to disobey Pepper Potts.

Pepper took a few steadying breaths and went about making a pot of the herbal tea mix she’d designed specifically for days like this. She set the pot, two cups and a jar of honey to stir through on a tray and rode the elevator down to Bruce’s lab. The door opened automatically and she walked in and set the tray down on one of the clean benches. Bruce was lying on the couch, hands over his eyes rubbing soft circles as if he were trying to soothe a headache. She noticed a portable heart rate monitor on the floor next to him.

“Hello Bruce. Feel like having a cup of tea with me?” she asked quietly.

“God yes. Please tell me you fixed whatever was going on up there,” he pleaded, sounding exhausted.

“I did,” she replied as she poured the tea and put a spoonful of honey each, stirring until it dissolved. Bruce sighed in relief and moved into a sitting position, making room for her on the couch as Pepper handed him a cup. They sat there in companionable silence for a minute, sipping at the hot tea.

Pepper watched the fragrant steam rise off the cup cradled in her hands and let it calm her, feeling herself let go of some of the tension which had developed in her neck and shoulders since she received the call from JARVIS. “What happened?” she asked.

Bruce sighed reluctantly and seemed to pull himself together. “I’m not sure exactly how it started this time. Probably over something stupid again. You know they fought over what to eat for dinner last week? Anyway whatever it began as it quickly escalated into personal jabs. They just kept getting nastier.” Bruce frowned, disapproval showing clearly in the lines of his face. He looked much older than he was. He glanced over at her. “Thor tried to break it up. You can tell how bad it was getting just by that because Thor rarely worries about that kind of thing. He usually prefers to let everyone get their issues with each other out in the open and have a brawl in the gym. After that it’s all over for him. Like nothing was wrong in the first place.”

Pepper watched Bruce speak and kept her silence. She got the impression from the way Bruce spoke that he greatly admired the demi-god for his attitudes or perhaps envied him the ability to deal with problems in such a simple and direct way. Bruce on the other hand couldn’t risk fighting out his arguments.

He paused in his explanation. A pained look coming over his face as if he had just tasted something bitter as he considered his next choice of words. “When Thor got between Tony and Steve…Well he just didn’t have the right words to make them see sense, but he’s as stubborn as either of them. Tony threw a line at him about Loki.”

Pepper’s indrawn breath was not far off being a gasp. Everyone knew Loki was a soft spot for Thor and imprisoning him had been one of the most difficult things he’d done in his long life. Even now the burden of Loki’s crimes as well as his personal betrayals weighed heavily on Thor.

“I think Tony had been drinking,” Bruce said. “He doesn’t usually stir up Thor, I don’t think he even meant to hurt him, just get him to leave. But he didn’t think it through before he said it and it must’ve hit home because Thor lost his temper.” A sad smile crossed his face. “He’s lucky Thor only put the hammer through the wall and not through Tony. Anyway you can imagine all that just made Steve angrier and the argument just escalated.”

Bruce lowered his head over his tea and seemed to talk into the cup, avoiding any chance of eye contact. “I couldn’t stay there. Sometimes I think it was calmer living in India. Maybe this just isn’t the right environment for me after all.” His words were achingly sad and Pepper’s heart gave a painful squeeze. Bruce had been so hopeful when he had first moved in. The idea of finally having friends around that he could trust and who didn’t fear him had been such a beautiful concept to him then. The possibility of Bruce having to give it up and go back to a life on the run from the authorities was one that she was not yet ready to consider.

She was saved from having to find a reply that didn’t sound cliché or overly optimistic by the door to the lab opening once more and Phil entering. 

He walked quickly to where they were seated. “Bruce, when you’re ready to go back upstairs I believe Captain Rogers would like to make an apology. I doubt you’ll get a word out of Stark but he’ll probably build you a new particle accelerator or something to say sorry.” Phil’s words were clipped and efficient, obviously controlled.

Bruce gave a decent approximation of a smile. “On a scale of one to ten how heartbreaking were Steve’s puppy-dog eyes?”

Phil considered it for a few seconds, his lips pursed and eyes squinted as if he were deep in thought. “Oh, around an eight. Possibly as high as eight and a half.” Pepper thought his face softened a little bit.

Bruce sighed, resigned. “I better head up then, before the guilt kills him.” He stood and placed his cup back on the table. “I might put an order in with Tony for a new centrifuge though, I don’t really need a particle accelerator. Thank you for the tea Pepper.” With that he set off towards the elevator, leaving Pepper and Phil alone in the lab.

She looked to him, eyes pleading. “What are we going to do, Phil? It can’t continue like this. Someone’s going to get hurt. We can’t be here 24/7 to break it up, and JARVIS’s power is limited.”

Phil leant back on the table, steadying himself but still unwilling to sit down and let his body give up its strict control. “I don’t understand it,” he complained. “They all work so well together in the field. I’ve seen teams who’ve been together for more than ten years that aren’t as in tune with each other as these six. But ask them to live together and it’s a disaster.”

Pepper took a deep breath before replying. “Maybe they shouldn’t be living together.”

“Maybe. Clint and Natasha would cope with going back to SHIELD. They’d still have each other and they both work well as solo agents too. Steve and Thor would both be miserable though. Thor would probably go to New Mexico to be with Dr Foster. I don’t know where Bruce would go either. There’s no way he’d let SHIELD put him up and if he decided to find somewhere on his own he’d be too worried about being traced. He’d probably try to disappear again. The team would fall apart.” 

Pepper immediately regretted her suggestion, though she wasn’t particularly surprised by his brutal honesty. She didn’t want to think about how Tony would cope if he lost the team. For all the problems it was creating at home he would hate for the initiative to fail. He would count it as a personal failure. Not one but five new friends he wasn’t able to hold on to. 

“You’ve got a pretty firm handle on them,” Phil began, startling Pepper out of her reverie. “Why don’t you move in and keep and eye on them?”

Pepper stared at him incredulously. “What? And run Start Industries as well? Looking after this lot is a full time job and I’ve already got one of those, thank you very much. I’m out of town one week out of every four anyway, there’s no way I could juggle it all. Also I really REALLY don’t want to!”

Phil laughed at her softly. “Ok, ok, it was only a suggestion. I can see where you’re coming from.”

Pepper stood, rolling her shoulders to release the tension, and moved to put her teacup on the table. As she came within reach Phil placed a warm hand on her shoulder and she let her head drop to his shoulder. They stood like that, drawing strength from each other and enjoying the companionship from a few seconds. Then Pepper raised her head and met Phil’s eyes. “We have to find some way to fix this,” she said firmly.

“We will.”


End file.
